Summary:
Alexandra Barnaby, known to her family and close friends as Barney, is a former grease-monkey, raised in her father's garage in Baltimore. Now she's an insurance adjuster whose brother calls her from Miami in the middle of the night to say that he'll be away for a while, and don't worry. She flies down to Miami, worried sick, and finds herself wrapped up in a fight to the death over Cuban gold and a Russian bomb. Will she be able to save her brother's life?
Thoughts:
This book SCREAMS Janet Evanovich. Barney reads very much like Stephanie Plum, to the point that I had to remind myself every few pages that this was Metro Girl not Plum Fourteen-and-Three-Quarters. Her partner in finding her brother is Sam Hooker, a horndog racecar driver that feels very much like a young Joe Morelli. She even has a heavyset sidekick type called Rosa who is so Lula-esque, it's hard to read Rosa as "gutsy-but-nuts Hispanic lady" and not "gutsy-but-nuts black lady." It's a fun read, don't get me wrong. But I've read better from Ms. E, and I'm a little disappointed in the not-really-different-ness of this. This is one of those books that you read when you've got nothing else left. Onward and upward, I hope.
Book 3 of 50
Pages: 296
Genre: Chicklit with a dash of mystery and a dollop of comedy
Grade: B-/C+
Would I Recommend?: Meh. You've got better choices.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Down the Darkest Road (Tami Hoag)
Summary:
The year is 1990. The Lawton family has been through hell. Elder sister Leslie was kidnapped, and never found. Father Lance couldn't handle the anguish that his daughter's kidnapping brought him and his family, and he drove himself off a bridge. Mother Lauren drinks too much and has become completely obsessed with the prime suspect in the case, Roland Ballencoa, and wants to see him brought to justice by any means possible. Younger sister Leah cuts herself to get rid of the pain of dealing with her family's issues. Lauren and Leah move out of their old town, where everything reminds them of Leslie and Lance. They move into Oak Knoll, and in the first outing in their new town, Lauren sees Ballencoa driving by. Lauren fears that he's stalking them again, and she won't stand for that. She'll do anything to keep her other daughter safe and get justice for Leslie. Anything.
Thoughts:
What a dark, dark book. This book was a gift from someone, and I didn't know what to expect. It's pretty brutal at some points. As the reader, you see through the eyes of both the remaining Lawtons, as well as those of the several cops involved in the case, a friend of Lauren's, and worst of all, Ballencoa. Ballencoa's gross thoughts and actions made me recoil in disgust. Leah's heartbreaking self-doubt made me want to hug her. And I wanted to shake some sense into Lauren so badly. All this tells me it was extremely well-written. That said, it dragged. Sure, the characters were really well-developed. The setting of 1990 made things really interesting, since today's DNA capabilities weren't available to them then. The prose was good, and the story was engaging. But it took me a month and a half to finally get through the book. I don't know if I was just discomforted by the subject matter in its entirety, or if it was that all the characters had serious mental issues that was hard to swallow, or that it just didn't engage me as much as it should have. It was a good book. It just took me forever.
Book 2 of 50
Pages: 484
Genre: Mystery, thriller
Grade: B+
Would I Recommend?: Sure, but make sure you're giving yourself plenty of time for it. Not recommended for teens or younger!
The year is 1990. The Lawton family has been through hell. Elder sister Leslie was kidnapped, and never found. Father Lance couldn't handle the anguish that his daughter's kidnapping brought him and his family, and he drove himself off a bridge. Mother Lauren drinks too much and has become completely obsessed with the prime suspect in the case, Roland Ballencoa, and wants to see him brought to justice by any means possible. Younger sister Leah cuts herself to get rid of the pain of dealing with her family's issues. Lauren and Leah move out of their old town, where everything reminds them of Leslie and Lance. They move into Oak Knoll, and in the first outing in their new town, Lauren sees Ballencoa driving by. Lauren fears that he's stalking them again, and she won't stand for that. She'll do anything to keep her other daughter safe and get justice for Leslie. Anything.
Thoughts:
What a dark, dark book. This book was a gift from someone, and I didn't know what to expect. It's pretty brutal at some points. As the reader, you see through the eyes of both the remaining Lawtons, as well as those of the several cops involved in the case, a friend of Lauren's, and worst of all, Ballencoa. Ballencoa's gross thoughts and actions made me recoil in disgust. Leah's heartbreaking self-doubt made me want to hug her. And I wanted to shake some sense into Lauren so badly. All this tells me it was extremely well-written. That said, it dragged. Sure, the characters were really well-developed. The setting of 1990 made things really interesting, since today's DNA capabilities weren't available to them then. The prose was good, and the story was engaging. But it took me a month and a half to finally get through the book. I don't know if I was just discomforted by the subject matter in its entirety, or if it was that all the characters had serious mental issues that was hard to swallow, or that it just didn't engage me as much as it should have. It was a good book. It just took me forever.
Book 2 of 50
Pages: 484
Genre: Mystery, thriller
Grade: B+
Would I Recommend?: Sure, but make sure you're giving yourself plenty of time for it. Not recommended for teens or younger!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Plum Spooky (Janet Evanovich)
Summary:
Diesel is back in another Between-the-Numbers Stephanie Plum book. This time around, Diesel is after a pretty scary guy named Wulf, who happens to be hanging out with Stephanie's most wanted FTA, a guy named Munch. Steph and Diesel have to slog around in the Pine Barrens in an effort to find these two men. Along the way, Munch's boss gets killed, the boss's estranged sister gets kidnapped, and there's monkeys galore. All in a day's work for Ms. Stephanie Plum.
Thoughts:
Not bad, though the previous Between-the-Numbers books were much more related to the holidays their titles suggested. This one was neither set near Halloween, nor related to it in any way. That part was a little disappointing. But that aside, I really enjoy the Diesel character, so these "between" books are always fun for me. (It seems, though, this might be the last of them, which is a bit disappointing.) Upon doing a little belated research, it seems that Diesel shows up in another series by Ms. Evanovich, which I will be all over as soon as I get my hands on them. (Wicked Appetite and Wicked Business are the novels, and there are two graphic novels as well.) In this particular "between" book, Diesel actually meets Ranger, something that I don't believe happened in any of the previous editions. I'm fairly sure he's never met Morelli, either. It makes Diesel seem a little more "real" and a little less "magical crazy guy that only flits through for a couple days and then disappears leaving everyone forever changed." All in all, not a bad book to start the year with. Onward!
Book 1 of 50 for 2013
Pages: 320
Genre: Mystery, comedy
Grade: B+
Would I Recommend?: Sure, but only if you've been keeping up with the Plum series. If not, start from the beginning and get yourself hooked properly!
Diesel is back in another Between-the-Numbers Stephanie Plum book. This time around, Diesel is after a pretty scary guy named Wulf, who happens to be hanging out with Stephanie's most wanted FTA, a guy named Munch. Steph and Diesel have to slog around in the Pine Barrens in an effort to find these two men. Along the way, Munch's boss gets killed, the boss's estranged sister gets kidnapped, and there's monkeys galore. All in a day's work for Ms. Stephanie Plum.
Thoughts:
Not bad, though the previous Between-the-Numbers books were much more related to the holidays their titles suggested. This one was neither set near Halloween, nor related to it in any way. That part was a little disappointing. But that aside, I really enjoy the Diesel character, so these "between" books are always fun for me. (It seems, though, this might be the last of them, which is a bit disappointing.) Upon doing a little belated research, it seems that Diesel shows up in another series by Ms. Evanovich, which I will be all over as soon as I get my hands on them. (Wicked Appetite and Wicked Business are the novels, and there are two graphic novels as well.) In this particular "between" book, Diesel actually meets Ranger, something that I don't believe happened in any of the previous editions. I'm fairly sure he's never met Morelli, either. It makes Diesel seem a little more "real" and a little less "magical crazy guy that only flits through for a couple days and then disappears leaving everyone forever changed." All in all, not a bad book to start the year with. Onward!
Book 1 of 50 for 2013
Pages: 320
Genre: Mystery, comedy
Grade: B+
Would I Recommend?: Sure, but only if you've been keeping up with the Plum series. If not, start from the beginning and get yourself hooked properly!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Build a Man (Talli Roland)
Summary:
Serenity is an American in London for the first time. She found a job at a Botox clinic, and started hooking up with the doctor. She moved in with Peter, and has been living with him for nearly all of her stay in London so far. She's a budding writer, hoping to get into the world of tabloid writing. Yes, really. She pitches story after Botox-related story to the London tabloids she adores, getting shot down every single time. But when Jeremy walks into the office for a complete overhaul, she knows this is her time. She sends a pitch about a man going under the knife to every tabloid she can think of, including the Daily Planet (yup, Roland ripped off Superman's day job and made it a tabloid), the biggest, raunchiest tabloid paper of them all. She lands the column, writing for free in the hopes that she'll get the staff job that's opening up at the Planet. If she does a great job with her column, called Build a Man (shocker!), the job is hers. But she can't tell Jeremy she's writing the story, nor Peter, and she'll be writing under a pseudonym so she's not found out. Piece of cake!
Thoughts:
Ugh. Seriously. UGH. This book is not worth the download time, let alone the price it might cost you. (A measly 99 cents for the Kindle as of this writing. I downloaded it when it was free, thank God.) As a product of the Fan Fiction world, I've read some roiling piles of crap before. This is one of them. One of the terms from that world that has stuck with me is the "Mary Sue." A Mary Sue is a character that is very much like the author, and she's thrown into a fandom world like the Potter series or the Lord of the Rings series, and she's paired with the most attractive of the series' characters, as though Harry Potter would turn up his nose at Ginny Weasley in favor of Mary Sue Smith, an American transfer student that showed up in the middle of fifth year. Why, of course! (The male equivalent was "Gary Stew/Stu," if I recall correctly.) I bring all this up because the Serenity character is so very much a Mary Sue, she's even NAMED horribly. Serenity is one of those names that you only WISH you could have, because it's so pretty and wonderful... So very Mary-Sue-ish. Oh, and the worst part is that when I checked the Amazon website to see exactly how many crappy pages this sad, slow, horrible death of a book were, I read the words that confirmed my Mary Sue suspicions in the "From the Author" section: "This novel holds a special place in my heart, since the main character, Serenity, experiences many of the same feelings I did when I first moved to England from Canada. Everything seemed so different and strange, yet exciting -- a whole new world of potential opening up. Like Serenity, I also worked as a receptionist in a place where London's wealthy women flocked for Botox, and I couldn't help being shocked at the amount of money they shelled out each visit." She openly admits to the Mary-Sue-dom of the story, and is completely unapologetic about it, even going on to say that she identifies with the character's feelings. Hello!! You wrote the damn thing! Of course you identify with it! This book is entirely predictable. Of course she's going to get the guy in the end. She's the book heroine. It doesn't matter that she wrote a story about him without his knowledge, or that she made him a laughing stock, or that because he went under the knife, (despite having serious reservations on the day of the surgery) he wound up having some brain damage. None of that matters, because they love each other and love will out in the end. Oh yes. That she lied to him through most of their existence together is no big deal, right? Ugh. And somehow, this book actually got a sequel. So not even bothering! DO NOT waste your time on this pile of horse manure unless you're only out for annoying protagonists who wound up getting a happy ending, no matter how horrible a person she is, or if you're looking for the stupidest, most predictable plot line that hundreds of romance writers have followed for decades. SKIP IT!
Book 57 of 70
Pages: 308, read as an e-book
Genre: chick lit, romance
Grade: F-
Would I Recommend?: No. Don't even waste the download time when the book is free. Seriously. Don't bother.
Serenity is an American in London for the first time. She found a job at a Botox clinic, and started hooking up with the doctor. She moved in with Peter, and has been living with him for nearly all of her stay in London so far. She's a budding writer, hoping to get into the world of tabloid writing. Yes, really. She pitches story after Botox-related story to the London tabloids she adores, getting shot down every single time. But when Jeremy walks into the office for a complete overhaul, she knows this is her time. She sends a pitch about a man going under the knife to every tabloid she can think of, including the Daily Planet (yup, Roland ripped off Superman's day job and made it a tabloid), the biggest, raunchiest tabloid paper of them all. She lands the column, writing for free in the hopes that she'll get the staff job that's opening up at the Planet. If she does a great job with her column, called Build a Man (shocker!), the job is hers. But she can't tell Jeremy she's writing the story, nor Peter, and she'll be writing under a pseudonym so she's not found out. Piece of cake!
Thoughts:
Ugh. Seriously. UGH. This book is not worth the download time, let alone the price it might cost you. (A measly 99 cents for the Kindle as of this writing. I downloaded it when it was free, thank God.) As a product of the Fan Fiction world, I've read some roiling piles of crap before. This is one of them. One of the terms from that world that has stuck with me is the "Mary Sue." A Mary Sue is a character that is very much like the author, and she's thrown into a fandom world like the Potter series or the Lord of the Rings series, and she's paired with the most attractive of the series' characters, as though Harry Potter would turn up his nose at Ginny Weasley in favor of Mary Sue Smith, an American transfer student that showed up in the middle of fifth year. Why, of course! (The male equivalent was "Gary Stew/Stu," if I recall correctly.) I bring all this up because the Serenity character is so very much a Mary Sue, she's even NAMED horribly. Serenity is one of those names that you only WISH you could have, because it's so pretty and wonderful... So very Mary-Sue-ish. Oh, and the worst part is that when I checked the Amazon website to see exactly how many crappy pages this sad, slow, horrible death of a book were, I read the words that confirmed my Mary Sue suspicions in the "From the Author" section: "This novel holds a special place in my heart, since the main character, Serenity, experiences many of the same feelings I did when I first moved to England from Canada. Everything seemed so different and strange, yet exciting -- a whole new world of potential opening up. Like Serenity, I also worked as a receptionist in a place where London's wealthy women flocked for Botox, and I couldn't help being shocked at the amount of money they shelled out each visit." She openly admits to the Mary-Sue-dom of the story, and is completely unapologetic about it, even going on to say that she identifies with the character's feelings. Hello!! You wrote the damn thing! Of course you identify with it! This book is entirely predictable. Of course she's going to get the guy in the end. She's the book heroine. It doesn't matter that she wrote a story about him without his knowledge, or that she made him a laughing stock, or that because he went under the knife, (despite having serious reservations on the day of the surgery) he wound up having some brain damage. None of that matters, because they love each other and love will out in the end. Oh yes. That she lied to him through most of their existence together is no big deal, right? Ugh. And somehow, this book actually got a sequel. So not even bothering! DO NOT waste your time on this pile of horse manure unless you're only out for annoying protagonists who wound up getting a happy ending, no matter how horrible a person she is, or if you're looking for the stupidest, most predictable plot line that hundreds of romance writers have followed for decades. SKIP IT!
Book 57 of 70
Pages: 308, read as an e-book
Genre: chick lit, romance
Grade: F-
Would I Recommend?: No. Don't even waste the download time when the book is free. Seriously. Don't bother.
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