Summary:
Rachel is a successful food writer, a published cookbook author, and seven months pregnant with her second child. She's blindsided when her husband, Mark, tells her that he's in love with someone else, and he's not going to leave the other woman. What follows is the breaking down of a marriage, the realizations of when he was cheating, and where, and who knew it was going on before Rachel did. Rachel tries to see the bright side of all of it, but who wants to be a pregnant woman going through a divorce?
Thoughts:
This was really difficult to read. Not only because of the subject matter, but because it was so dryly written. I loved Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. They're go-to romantic comedy gold for me, and When Harry Met Sally... is another great movie. I knew Nora Ephron could write great things, and I was looking forward to reading something from her. I was sadly disappointed. The book took me nearly two weeks to wade through. That's an EPIC amount of time for something that is literally 178 pages. 178 pages. I could've read it in the space of a few hours if I'd put my mind to it. Particularly because it talks through 15 different recipes. But it was so damn dismal. I had to force myself to get through it.
Now granted, this book was published in 1983, so its references were bound to be stale. But the whole thing was completely depressing, and Rachel was so downtrodden through the whole ordeal. Rachel was also very stereotypically Jewish and wore her religion like a banner on her chest throughout. I understand that Jewish people are sometimes like that, and I don't have a problem with it by any means, as they have every right to proclaim their religious affiliation. But it did make it all the more difficult to relate to Rachel. (A side note: I'm a Presbyterian, a protestant. I have no problems with religion. If Rachel was stereotypically Presbyterian or Catholic or Baptist or Lutheran or Atheist or anything else, I'd probably still be put off by it. It just irks when people exaggerate such things that don't have much other reason to exist within a book. I find it boring and unnecessary.)
The cover carries with it three quotes from the Chicago Tribune, The NY Times Book Review, and Harper's Bazaar, all singing the book's praises, of course. But I disagree with all three. The Tribune wrote at the time, "Funny and touching... proof that writing well is the best revenge." I didn't laugh. I just hurt for the poor woman. Sure, I hated the cheating husband, but it's not hard to do that when he's, y'know. A cheating husband. The Times wrote, "Great fun... Though Heartburn bristles ferociously with wit, it's not lacking in soul." It wasn't fun. It wasn't witty. It was depressing. And Harper's Bazaar. "Nora Ephron's first novel is warm, witty, and wise." Nope, nope, nope. It was almost clinical, and cynical, and sad. I hate to say it, but it just broke the heart the whole way through. The only light-hearted bit was at the end where there was a pie thrown in Mark's face. I might've laughed if not for the reason why she felt the need to throw the pie, and the fact that a page and a half later, Rachel talks about when they were expecting their first child, and Mark used to sing her to sleep and sing her awake and how sweet it used to be, and all I felt was sad for her that her husband was a complete bastard.
Completely depressing. COMPLETELY.
Book 25 of 50
Pages: 178
Genre: fiction
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Wanna be depressed? Then read this. Want to smile and remember Nora Ephron's great work? Watch When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. They'll make you smile far more than this ever will.
Showing posts with label DO NOT RECOMMEND. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DO NOT RECOMMEND. Show all posts
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Knit One, Kill Two (Maggie Sefton)
Summary:
Kelly Flynn's aunt Helen was just murdered in her home in Colorado. They have the man in custody, a vagrant with a history of violence. But Kelly's not convinced. She finds out from Helen's attorney that she took out a mortgage on her home to get $20,000 for some mysterious reason, and the investigating officer tells her that Helen was found with a broken knitting needle on the ground nearby, and her knitting was nowhere to be found. Helen lived in a cottage next to what used to be her family home with her long-deceased husband, which has been refurbished into a cafe in one half of the house, and a yarn shop in the other half. Now Kelly has to figure out how best to handle Helen's home, so she can get back to her life in DC. But she can't even consider leaving until she finds out why Helen needed all that money, and who really killed her, and all Helen's friends from the yarn shop have vowed to help.
Thoughts:
I wanted so much to like this. I really did. But it just didn't do it. When reading a mystery novel, one expects most of the plot to be devoted to following the main character in her hunt to solve the mystery. Sure, you see Kelly finding out lots about her aunt that she never knew. But so much time is spent talking about Kelly's fear of knitting (because she'll get bored/it won't come out nice/but she doesn't know how) and the amateur sleuthing takes a backseat to how luscious the yarns feel and how soft and colorful and if I had to read one more word about the kaleidoscope of colors in the yarn store, I think I would've screamed. There was obviously something that would have happened with the only guy in the book that's Kelly's age, but he's almost nonexistent for most of the book, except when he shows up to flirt with her a little. The book really deals more with Kelly's insecurities and her decisions of what to do about Helen's house and her making friends with Helen's old friends from the knitting shop than with the murder itself. And when the murder is finally solved, the book ends right there. Barely any epilogue of "I'm staying in Colorado." Just "let's go sit on the porch so I can digest this." As I said, I wanted to like this book. I wanted to love it, really. But I just couldn't get past the droning nature of the book. It went on and on about nothing at all, and didn't get interesting (and start really solving the murder) until the last 75 pages or so. I can understand some of the character development with the knit shop ladies, but the book really delves farther into them than it does into the murder, and when it's a murder mystery, that's really not okay.
Book 18 of 50
Pages: 273
Genre: Mystery
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Not really, sadly...
Kelly Flynn's aunt Helen was just murdered in her home in Colorado. They have the man in custody, a vagrant with a history of violence. But Kelly's not convinced. She finds out from Helen's attorney that she took out a mortgage on her home to get $20,000 for some mysterious reason, and the investigating officer tells her that Helen was found with a broken knitting needle on the ground nearby, and her knitting was nowhere to be found. Helen lived in a cottage next to what used to be her family home with her long-deceased husband, which has been refurbished into a cafe in one half of the house, and a yarn shop in the other half. Now Kelly has to figure out how best to handle Helen's home, so she can get back to her life in DC. But she can't even consider leaving until she finds out why Helen needed all that money, and who really killed her, and all Helen's friends from the yarn shop have vowed to help.
Thoughts:
I wanted so much to like this. I really did. But it just didn't do it. When reading a mystery novel, one expects most of the plot to be devoted to following the main character in her hunt to solve the mystery. Sure, you see Kelly finding out lots about her aunt that she never knew. But so much time is spent talking about Kelly's fear of knitting (because she'll get bored/it won't come out nice/but she doesn't know how) and the amateur sleuthing takes a backseat to how luscious the yarns feel and how soft and colorful and if I had to read one more word about the kaleidoscope of colors in the yarn store, I think I would've screamed. There was obviously something that would have happened with the only guy in the book that's Kelly's age, but he's almost nonexistent for most of the book, except when he shows up to flirt with her a little. The book really deals more with Kelly's insecurities and her decisions of what to do about Helen's house and her making friends with Helen's old friends from the knitting shop than with the murder itself. And when the murder is finally solved, the book ends right there. Barely any epilogue of "I'm staying in Colorado." Just "let's go sit on the porch so I can digest this." As I said, I wanted to like this book. I wanted to love it, really. But I just couldn't get past the droning nature of the book. It went on and on about nothing at all, and didn't get interesting (and start really solving the murder) until the last 75 pages or so. I can understand some of the character development with the knit shop ladies, but the book really delves farther into them than it does into the murder, and when it's a murder mystery, that's really not okay.
Book 18 of 50
Pages: 273
Genre: Mystery
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Not really, sadly...
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Build a Man (Talli Roland)
Summary:
Serenity is an American in London for the first time. She found a job at a Botox clinic, and started hooking up with the doctor. She moved in with Peter, and has been living with him for nearly all of her stay in London so far. She's a budding writer, hoping to get into the world of tabloid writing. Yes, really. She pitches story after Botox-related story to the London tabloids she adores, getting shot down every single time. But when Jeremy walks into the office for a complete overhaul, she knows this is her time. She sends a pitch about a man going under the knife to every tabloid she can think of, including the Daily Planet (yup, Roland ripped off Superman's day job and made it a tabloid), the biggest, raunchiest tabloid paper of them all. She lands the column, writing for free in the hopes that she'll get the staff job that's opening up at the Planet. If she does a great job with her column, called Build a Man (shocker!), the job is hers. But she can't tell Jeremy she's writing the story, nor Peter, and she'll be writing under a pseudonym so she's not found out. Piece of cake!
Thoughts:
Ugh. Seriously. UGH. This book is not worth the download time, let alone the price it might cost you. (A measly 99 cents for the Kindle as of this writing. I downloaded it when it was free, thank God.) As a product of the Fan Fiction world, I've read some roiling piles of crap before. This is one of them. One of the terms from that world that has stuck with me is the "Mary Sue." A Mary Sue is a character that is very much like the author, and she's thrown into a fandom world like the Potter series or the Lord of the Rings series, and she's paired with the most attractive of the series' characters, as though Harry Potter would turn up his nose at Ginny Weasley in favor of Mary Sue Smith, an American transfer student that showed up in the middle of fifth year. Why, of course! (The male equivalent was "Gary Stew/Stu," if I recall correctly.) I bring all this up because the Serenity character is so very much a Mary Sue, she's even NAMED horribly. Serenity is one of those names that you only WISH you could have, because it's so pretty and wonderful... So very Mary-Sue-ish. Oh, and the worst part is that when I checked the Amazon website to see exactly how many crappy pages this sad, slow, horrible death of a book were, I read the words that confirmed my Mary Sue suspicions in the "From the Author" section: "This novel holds a special place in my heart, since the main character, Serenity, experiences many of the same feelings I did when I first moved to England from Canada. Everything seemed so different and strange, yet exciting -- a whole new world of potential opening up. Like Serenity, I also worked as a receptionist in a place where London's wealthy women flocked for Botox, and I couldn't help being shocked at the amount of money they shelled out each visit." She openly admits to the Mary-Sue-dom of the story, and is completely unapologetic about it, even going on to say that she identifies with the character's feelings. Hello!! You wrote the damn thing! Of course you identify with it! This book is entirely predictable. Of course she's going to get the guy in the end. She's the book heroine. It doesn't matter that she wrote a story about him without his knowledge, or that she made him a laughing stock, or that because he went under the knife, (despite having serious reservations on the day of the surgery) he wound up having some brain damage. None of that matters, because they love each other and love will out in the end. Oh yes. That she lied to him through most of their existence together is no big deal, right? Ugh. And somehow, this book actually got a sequel. So not even bothering! DO NOT waste your time on this pile of horse manure unless you're only out for annoying protagonists who wound up getting a happy ending, no matter how horrible a person she is, or if you're looking for the stupidest, most predictable plot line that hundreds of romance writers have followed for decades. SKIP IT!
Book 57 of 70
Pages: 308, read as an e-book
Genre: chick lit, romance
Grade: F-
Would I Recommend?: No. Don't even waste the download time when the book is free. Seriously. Don't bother.
Serenity is an American in London for the first time. She found a job at a Botox clinic, and started hooking up with the doctor. She moved in with Peter, and has been living with him for nearly all of her stay in London so far. She's a budding writer, hoping to get into the world of tabloid writing. Yes, really. She pitches story after Botox-related story to the London tabloids she adores, getting shot down every single time. But when Jeremy walks into the office for a complete overhaul, she knows this is her time. She sends a pitch about a man going under the knife to every tabloid she can think of, including the Daily Planet (yup, Roland ripped off Superman's day job and made it a tabloid), the biggest, raunchiest tabloid paper of them all. She lands the column, writing for free in the hopes that she'll get the staff job that's opening up at the Planet. If she does a great job with her column, called Build a Man (shocker!), the job is hers. But she can't tell Jeremy she's writing the story, nor Peter, and she'll be writing under a pseudonym so she's not found out. Piece of cake!
Thoughts:
Ugh. Seriously. UGH. This book is not worth the download time, let alone the price it might cost you. (A measly 99 cents for the Kindle as of this writing. I downloaded it when it was free, thank God.) As a product of the Fan Fiction world, I've read some roiling piles of crap before. This is one of them. One of the terms from that world that has stuck with me is the "Mary Sue." A Mary Sue is a character that is very much like the author, and she's thrown into a fandom world like the Potter series or the Lord of the Rings series, and she's paired with the most attractive of the series' characters, as though Harry Potter would turn up his nose at Ginny Weasley in favor of Mary Sue Smith, an American transfer student that showed up in the middle of fifth year. Why, of course! (The male equivalent was "Gary Stew/Stu," if I recall correctly.) I bring all this up because the Serenity character is so very much a Mary Sue, she's even NAMED horribly. Serenity is one of those names that you only WISH you could have, because it's so pretty and wonderful... So very Mary-Sue-ish. Oh, and the worst part is that when I checked the Amazon website to see exactly how many crappy pages this sad, slow, horrible death of a book were, I read the words that confirmed my Mary Sue suspicions in the "From the Author" section: "This novel holds a special place in my heart, since the main character, Serenity, experiences many of the same feelings I did when I first moved to England from Canada. Everything seemed so different and strange, yet exciting -- a whole new world of potential opening up. Like Serenity, I also worked as a receptionist in a place where London's wealthy women flocked for Botox, and I couldn't help being shocked at the amount of money they shelled out each visit." She openly admits to the Mary-Sue-dom of the story, and is completely unapologetic about it, even going on to say that she identifies with the character's feelings. Hello!! You wrote the damn thing! Of course you identify with it! This book is entirely predictable. Of course she's going to get the guy in the end. She's the book heroine. It doesn't matter that she wrote a story about him without his knowledge, or that she made him a laughing stock, or that because he went under the knife, (despite having serious reservations on the day of the surgery) he wound up having some brain damage. None of that matters, because they love each other and love will out in the end. Oh yes. That she lied to him through most of their existence together is no big deal, right? Ugh. And somehow, this book actually got a sequel. So not even bothering! DO NOT waste your time on this pile of horse manure unless you're only out for annoying protagonists who wound up getting a happy ending, no matter how horrible a person she is, or if you're looking for the stupidest, most predictable plot line that hundreds of romance writers have followed for decades. SKIP IT!
Book 57 of 70
Pages: 308, read as an e-book
Genre: chick lit, romance
Grade: F-
Would I Recommend?: No. Don't even waste the download time when the book is free. Seriously. Don't bother.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
When Girlfriends Break Hearts (Savannah Page)
A quick note to those few readers that I've got:
First, thanks! I appreciate you checking out the blog! I've noticed that there tends to be a lot of traffic on Saturdays, so going forward, please keep an eye out for posts on SATURDAYS at 12pm Eastern Standard Time. (That's -5 hours from GMT, for anyone who doesn't know.) This will be the final Sunday post. Thanks for your time, and for reading this silly little blog!
On to the good stuff!
Summary:
Sophie's whole world crumbles one day when she finds out that her boyfriend of several years cheated on her. What's worse, he cheated with one of her dearest friends. The boyfriend breaks up with her saying that he just doesn't love her anymore. She can't except that, and presses for a real answer, and learns of the affair. Worse than the affair itself is that another dear friend knew the whole time and kept the secret because she was closer to the cheater friend than Sophie. Sophie has to deal with her crumbling world, and get over her heartbreak over two friends' deceptions.
Thoughts:
Not great. It's all about a woman's bond with her dearest friends, and comes around to the female version of "bros before hos." Sophie has to get herself to a place where she can accept that the affair happened, and try to mend herself enough that she might be able to mend fences with the friends that hurt her so deeply. She couldn't care less about the boyfriend. It's her besties that hurt her more for lying about the whole thing. She's stuck in a bitter, unforgiving place. If I were in her shoes, I'd probably be stuck for a lot longer than she was, but I've been known to hold grudges for a very, very long time. If the writing were a little better, I wouldn't have minded the story so much. But it's not great. It's boring, and the story drags. I have a very hard time putting a book down for good without finishing it, and I plodded through this one, but it was a chore. Reading to me is a release, a joyful and happy experience where I get to see more of the world around me, and not just the tiny little corner that I know. This book made reading feel like a homework assignment. Not worth the several weeks this took me to finish it, or even the thirty seconds of download time it took me to get the book. (I downloaded it when it was free, as it still is as of this writing.)
Book 56 of 70
Pages: 251 read as an e-book
Genre: chicklit
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Bland. Don't bother.
Sophie's whole world crumbles one day when she finds out that her boyfriend of several years cheated on her. What's worse, he cheated with one of her dearest friends. The boyfriend breaks up with her saying that he just doesn't love her anymore. She can't except that, and presses for a real answer, and learns of the affair. Worse than the affair itself is that another dear friend knew the whole time and kept the secret because she was closer to the cheater friend than Sophie. Sophie has to deal with her crumbling world, and get over her heartbreak over two friends' deceptions.
Thoughts:
Not great. It's all about a woman's bond with her dearest friends, and comes around to the female version of "bros before hos." Sophie has to get herself to a place where she can accept that the affair happened, and try to mend herself enough that she might be able to mend fences with the friends that hurt her so deeply. She couldn't care less about the boyfriend. It's her besties that hurt her more for lying about the whole thing. She's stuck in a bitter, unforgiving place. If I were in her shoes, I'd probably be stuck for a lot longer than she was, but I've been known to hold grudges for a very, very long time. If the writing were a little better, I wouldn't have minded the story so much. But it's not great. It's boring, and the story drags. I have a very hard time putting a book down for good without finishing it, and I plodded through this one, but it was a chore. Reading to me is a release, a joyful and happy experience where I get to see more of the world around me, and not just the tiny little corner that I know. This book made reading feel like a homework assignment. Not worth the several weeks this took me to finish it, or even the thirty seconds of download time it took me to get the book. (I downloaded it when it was free, as it still is as of this writing.)
Book 56 of 70
Pages: 251 read as an e-book
Genre: chicklit
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Bland. Don't bother.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
The Pleasure of My Company (Steve Martin)
Summary:
Daniel is a guy who used to be a computer programmer for Hewlett-Packard. Now he's a hermit with so many mental hang-ups, he can't even count them, let alone the rest of us. He spends most days exactly the same, spying on an unknowing real estate agent through his open window, doing nonsensical puzzles and mathematical calculations in his head just because he can, and avoiding curbs at all costs because there could be a scary abyss lurking at the bottom of that three-inch step. His whole world is centered around dealing with his imagined issues, and he hardly ever ventures past them to converse with the outside world.
Thoughts:
Yes, it's that Steve Martin. To be honest, it's weird. It took me a long time to get through it, including going through a ridiculous number of books between when I started it and when I finished it. I got my hands on it initially through PaperbackSwap.com (which is an awesome resource for books, particularly because it doesn't cost all that much!) in mid-February, started it maybe in March. I just took a look, and the next book I had my hands on from PBS Dead as a Doornail, which I finished and posted about in late March. There are twenty two books between that book and this one now. As I type this post up (in mid-June), it took easily three months to start, and then subsequently get myself back to, this book. That doesn't bode well as a gauge of how much I liked it. But, as usual, I digress. The book is droll. It doesn't have specific chapter markers, nor easily noted stoppage points. A scene could go on for a paragraph before moving on to the next, or it could take five pages, and you could never tell which it would be until you got to the end of it. I was hoping that the author's comedic background would lend itself to creating a fun, light-hearted book that I would love and adore almost as much as I do him. But alas, that was absolutely not the case. I read sixty pages, over the course of about a month, and couldn't stand it anymore. I put it down for nearly two months before picking it up again. In the end, it takes until page 88 of a 163 page book for anything of substance to happen. Until then, the reader is introduced to more and more of the main character's crazy until you want to kill him and put him, and yourself, out of your shared misery. From page 88, it turns out to be almost interesting, but by that point, I was so fed up with the crazy that I just wanted to power through to the end to get the whole mess over with. I don't recommend this book, by any means, unless you're severely mentally challenged and think this will be a help to you. Seriously, don't bother. Steve Martin's comedic prowess makes no appearance in this novella. None.
Book 34 of 50
Pages: 163
Genre: General fiction
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Nope. Not even because it's Steve Martin.
Daniel is a guy who used to be a computer programmer for Hewlett-Packard. Now he's a hermit with so many mental hang-ups, he can't even count them, let alone the rest of us. He spends most days exactly the same, spying on an unknowing real estate agent through his open window, doing nonsensical puzzles and mathematical calculations in his head just because he can, and avoiding curbs at all costs because there could be a scary abyss lurking at the bottom of that three-inch step. His whole world is centered around dealing with his imagined issues, and he hardly ever ventures past them to converse with the outside world.
Thoughts:
Yes, it's that Steve Martin. To be honest, it's weird. It took me a long time to get through it, including going through a ridiculous number of books between when I started it and when I finished it. I got my hands on it initially through PaperbackSwap.com (which is an awesome resource for books, particularly because it doesn't cost all that much!) in mid-February, started it maybe in March. I just took a look, and the next book I had my hands on from PBS Dead as a Doornail, which I finished and posted about in late March. There are twenty two books between that book and this one now. As I type this post up (in mid-June), it took easily three months to start, and then subsequently get myself back to, this book. That doesn't bode well as a gauge of how much I liked it. But, as usual, I digress. The book is droll. It doesn't have specific chapter markers, nor easily noted stoppage points. A scene could go on for a paragraph before moving on to the next, or it could take five pages, and you could never tell which it would be until you got to the end of it. I was hoping that the author's comedic background would lend itself to creating a fun, light-hearted book that I would love and adore almost as much as I do him. But alas, that was absolutely not the case. I read sixty pages, over the course of about a month, and couldn't stand it anymore. I put it down for nearly two months before picking it up again. In the end, it takes until page 88 of a 163 page book for anything of substance to happen. Until then, the reader is introduced to more and more of the main character's crazy until you want to kill him and put him, and yourself, out of your shared misery. From page 88, it turns out to be almost interesting, but by that point, I was so fed up with the crazy that I just wanted to power through to the end to get the whole mess over with. I don't recommend this book, by any means, unless you're severely mentally challenged and think this will be a help to you. Seriously, don't bother. Steve Martin's comedic prowess makes no appearance in this novella. None.
Book 34 of 50
Pages: 163
Genre: General fiction
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Nope. Not even because it's Steve Martin.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Nose for Justice (Rita Mae Brown)
Summary:
In the first book in a new series, we meet Mags, a Wall Street hot shot who just lost everything when her boss is found to be corrupt. She moves to Nevada with her Aunt Jeep, a former WWII flying ace, to give herself time to get back on her feet. They find an old skeleton buried in Jeep's barn that they discover while Jeep and her adopted son are upgrading the drainage system in the stalls. They call in Pete, one of the local cops, to check it out. At the same time, someone is blowing up water distribution pumps across town. Jeep spots something wrong at the pump and alerts Pete, who goes to investigate there. The story follows Pete in his investigation of the blown pump, as well as a couple of murders that wind up being connected to the case, and Mags as she does her own search for who the mystery man in the barn could have been. Oh, and the dogs in the family talk to each other and think that people are not nearly as smart as they are.
Thoughts:
Holy God, reading this book took me a month and a half. Literally. And I'm no slow reader. I just could NOT get into this one. The characters I named in the summary above are only a fifth or a sixth of the actual cast of characters. Brown actually lists all the characters by name at the beginning of the book, before the opening chapter, along with their reasons for being involved in the book. I guess that was a quick reference guide for us readers who might get lost in the swamp of people. What's more, the book sounds like it should be a nice, light mystery, one that you should be able to bang out in a couple days and be no worse for reading it. But Brown gets so down and dirty into the politics of water rights in Nevada and California, I couldn't keep myself engrossed like I usually am. I haven't read any of Brown's other series, with Sneaky Pie (I think that's the cat's name.) who helps his owner solve mysteries, but I have heard that they are much lighter and more fun. Fighting through to finish this book felt like pure drudgery. I stopped partway through because I knew I was going to get behind in posting reviews if I didn't, and read the Thief, just so I would keep on my schedule for you lovely readers. I wanted so badly for this book to be fun, so I would have a new series to dive into, and near the beginning of the series, too. (There's a second book out, but that's all so far.) But I don't think I'll be reading the second book. If the political side of murder is where Brown is going to go with Mags and Jeep, I don't want any part of it. But if you're into a book debating who should control water rights and why, jump right into this one. As for me, I'll stick with the cheesier murder mysteries, thanks.
Book 8 of 50
Pages: 288
Genre: Mystery
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Holy crap no, unless you're very into political debating with a side murder mystery.
In the first book in a new series, we meet Mags, a Wall Street hot shot who just lost everything when her boss is found to be corrupt. She moves to Nevada with her Aunt Jeep, a former WWII flying ace, to give herself time to get back on her feet. They find an old skeleton buried in Jeep's barn that they discover while Jeep and her adopted son are upgrading the drainage system in the stalls. They call in Pete, one of the local cops, to check it out. At the same time, someone is blowing up water distribution pumps across town. Jeep spots something wrong at the pump and alerts Pete, who goes to investigate there. The story follows Pete in his investigation of the blown pump, as well as a couple of murders that wind up being connected to the case, and Mags as she does her own search for who the mystery man in the barn could have been. Oh, and the dogs in the family talk to each other and think that people are not nearly as smart as they are.
Thoughts:
Holy God, reading this book took me a month and a half. Literally. And I'm no slow reader. I just could NOT get into this one. The characters I named in the summary above are only a fifth or a sixth of the actual cast of characters. Brown actually lists all the characters by name at the beginning of the book, before the opening chapter, along with their reasons for being involved in the book. I guess that was a quick reference guide for us readers who might get lost in the swamp of people. What's more, the book sounds like it should be a nice, light mystery, one that you should be able to bang out in a couple days and be no worse for reading it. But Brown gets so down and dirty into the politics of water rights in Nevada and California, I couldn't keep myself engrossed like I usually am. I haven't read any of Brown's other series, with Sneaky Pie (I think that's the cat's name.) who helps his owner solve mysteries, but I have heard that they are much lighter and more fun. Fighting through to finish this book felt like pure drudgery. I stopped partway through because I knew I was going to get behind in posting reviews if I didn't, and read the Thief, just so I would keep on my schedule for you lovely readers. I wanted so badly for this book to be fun, so I would have a new series to dive into, and near the beginning of the series, too. (There's a second book out, but that's all so far.) But I don't think I'll be reading the second book. If the political side of murder is where Brown is going to go with Mags and Jeep, I don't want any part of it. But if you're into a book debating who should control water rights and why, jump right into this one. As for me, I'll stick with the cheesier murder mysteries, thanks.
Book 8 of 50
Pages: 288
Genre: Mystery
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Holy crap no, unless you're very into political debating with a side murder mystery.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
The Thief (Megan Whalen Turner)
Summary:
Gen is a thief. He's landed himself in prison after stealing the king's seal, and then bragging about it in public. He's young, and talented as a thief, but not so talented at holding his tongue. He gets roped into a journey to find Hamaithes's Gift, which would aid the king of Sounis in his bid to marry the queen of Eddis.
Thoughts:
The book is, in essence, Lord of the Rings Lite. Or, at the very least, that's how it felt to me. It's set in a world that's very similar to Ancient Greece, with a little Roman and Mesopotamian influence for good measure. Of course, it throws sword fighting and gunplay together within about ten pages, but that's obviously neither here nor there to Ms. Turner. The book opens with us meeting Gen while he rots in prison. When he's finally brought out of the prison by the king's magus, who is basically the king's scholar type, he's forced to go on a quest. He's not told why, or where they're headed. He's just forced to be the tool to get whatever it is the magus is after. Two thirds of the book is traveling. Literally, they climbed up, they climbed down, this is what the world looked like. Holy God, I thought I was going to kill myself. The book is only 219 pages long, but I felt like it was Lord of the Rings long. Finally, when the characters start discussing the "old religion" of their ancestors, the book at least becomes a little more interesting. But the story itself doesn't pick up until the last fifty or sixty pages. At that point, not only have you finally found out where they're going, and what they're after, but they've finally reached the damn place. The whole thing reads very tediously. I understand that it's a Newberry Honor book, and that's great for Ms. Turner, but holy hell, I wouldn't want to be a kid having to read this in school. I was much more pleased reading the Indian and the Cupboard. I might've shot someone if this was a mandatory read from my school, and I loved reading as a kid. I had high hopes going into this book, because I'd read the cover at a book store, and thought it sounded awesome, and if you've read this blog before, you know how I like getting into a new series (there's three more books and two short stories in this set). However, I was not pleasantly surprised. At all. Boo. Literally, the only parts that I really enjoyed was the myths about their religion, and that accounts for about 20 pages' worth of text, and that's being generous. I doubt I'll ever get back to the rest of the series. I'm too afraid that it'll be another tedious journey. I'm proud of myself for even making it through this book. No more, please.
Book 7 of 50
Pages: 219
Genre: Fantasy, children's/teen lit
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Eh. IF you're into fantasy, and IF you like mythology of any kind, and IF(!!) you really liked the Lord of the Rings series and don't mind a hundred pages of tree descriptions, go for it. Otherwise, skip it.
Gen is a thief. He's landed himself in prison after stealing the king's seal, and then bragging about it in public. He's young, and talented as a thief, but not so talented at holding his tongue. He gets roped into a journey to find Hamaithes's Gift, which would aid the king of Sounis in his bid to marry the queen of Eddis.
Thoughts:
The book is, in essence, Lord of the Rings Lite. Or, at the very least, that's how it felt to me. It's set in a world that's very similar to Ancient Greece, with a little Roman and Mesopotamian influence for good measure. Of course, it throws sword fighting and gunplay together within about ten pages, but that's obviously neither here nor there to Ms. Turner. The book opens with us meeting Gen while he rots in prison. When he's finally brought out of the prison by the king's magus, who is basically the king's scholar type, he's forced to go on a quest. He's not told why, or where they're headed. He's just forced to be the tool to get whatever it is the magus is after. Two thirds of the book is traveling. Literally, they climbed up, they climbed down, this is what the world looked like. Holy God, I thought I was going to kill myself. The book is only 219 pages long, but I felt like it was Lord of the Rings long. Finally, when the characters start discussing the "old religion" of their ancestors, the book at least becomes a little more interesting. But the story itself doesn't pick up until the last fifty or sixty pages. At that point, not only have you finally found out where they're going, and what they're after, but they've finally reached the damn place. The whole thing reads very tediously. I understand that it's a Newberry Honor book, and that's great for Ms. Turner, but holy hell, I wouldn't want to be a kid having to read this in school. I was much more pleased reading the Indian and the Cupboard. I might've shot someone if this was a mandatory read from my school, and I loved reading as a kid. I had high hopes going into this book, because I'd read the cover at a book store, and thought it sounded awesome, and if you've read this blog before, you know how I like getting into a new series (there's three more books and two short stories in this set). However, I was not pleasantly surprised. At all. Boo. Literally, the only parts that I really enjoyed was the myths about their religion, and that accounts for about 20 pages' worth of text, and that's being generous. I doubt I'll ever get back to the rest of the series. I'm too afraid that it'll be another tedious journey. I'm proud of myself for even making it through this book. No more, please.
Book 7 of 50
Pages: 219
Genre: Fantasy, children's/teen lit
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: Eh. IF you're into fantasy, and IF you like mythology of any kind, and IF(!!) you really liked the Lord of the Rings series and don't mind a hundred pages of tree descriptions, go for it. Otherwise, skip it.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Secrets Sisters Keep (Abby Drake)
Summary:
Four sisters, Ellie, Amanda, Babe, and Carleen, are brought together for their uncle's seventy-fifth birthday party. Carleen, the third child and black sheep of the family, hasn't been seen since her trial for burning down the family home ended. She was eighteen at the time, and is now in her forties. Babe, the baby, is an aging Hollywood starlet who hasn't been home since she was a teenager either. Ellie, the eldest, has lived with Uncle Edward at his Long Island lake house since her marriage ended in her twenties, and Amanda, second eldest, lives in nearby Manhattan with her husband and three children. The day before Uncle Edward's big bash, which will welcome back 200 of his oldest and dearest friends to the lake house, Uncle Edward goes missing. The book follows the sisters as they hunt for Uncle Edward, and try not to spill the beans on all their deepest and darkest secrets.
Thoughts:
Honestly, I kind of hated every character, in one respect or another. Amanda's a haughty bitch who needs to get her priorities straight. Ellie is scared of change, and everything that could make her life more meaningful. Babe is too wrapped up in herself to know anything. And Carleen, while being the most well-adjusted of the sisters, is bitter and feels the need to fix everything she may or may not have broken all those years ago. The story, overall, is an interesting one, but the players are just... Boring. Uninspired. They're cliches of the worst sort.
The book was fairly short, with big type, but I still had to push myself to get through it. At 100 pages, I was ready to be done already. The only good developments came along at page 250 or so, and went from there. Unfortunately, it was too little and too late for me to really care. I'm sorry, Ms. Drake, but you did not hook me at any point. The only reason I finished the book was that I truly hate starting a book and not seeing it through to the end. Thank goodness I got this through one of those "book of the month" clubs as one of the introductory books, so I didn't have to pay more than a few pennies for it. Otherwise, I would have been more upset.
Book 34 of 50
Pages: 301
Genre: Chicklit, kinda
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Skip it. Boring, uninspired cliches aren't worth your time.
Four sisters, Ellie, Amanda, Babe, and Carleen, are brought together for their uncle's seventy-fifth birthday party. Carleen, the third child and black sheep of the family, hasn't been seen since her trial for burning down the family home ended. She was eighteen at the time, and is now in her forties. Babe, the baby, is an aging Hollywood starlet who hasn't been home since she was a teenager either. Ellie, the eldest, has lived with Uncle Edward at his Long Island lake house since her marriage ended in her twenties, and Amanda, second eldest, lives in nearby Manhattan with her husband and three children. The day before Uncle Edward's big bash, which will welcome back 200 of his oldest and dearest friends to the lake house, Uncle Edward goes missing. The book follows the sisters as they hunt for Uncle Edward, and try not to spill the beans on all their deepest and darkest secrets.
Thoughts:
Honestly, I kind of hated every character, in one respect or another. Amanda's a haughty bitch who needs to get her priorities straight. Ellie is scared of change, and everything that could make her life more meaningful. Babe is too wrapped up in herself to know anything. And Carleen, while being the most well-adjusted of the sisters, is bitter and feels the need to fix everything she may or may not have broken all those years ago. The story, overall, is an interesting one, but the players are just... Boring. Uninspired. They're cliches of the worst sort.
The book was fairly short, with big type, but I still had to push myself to get through it. At 100 pages, I was ready to be done already. The only good developments came along at page 250 or so, and went from there. Unfortunately, it was too little and too late for me to really care. I'm sorry, Ms. Drake, but you did not hook me at any point. The only reason I finished the book was that I truly hate starting a book and not seeing it through to the end. Thank goodness I got this through one of those "book of the month" clubs as one of the introductory books, so I didn't have to pay more than a few pennies for it. Otherwise, I would have been more upset.
Book 34 of 50
Pages: 301
Genre: Chicklit, kinda
Grade: D-
Would I Recommend?: Skip it. Boring, uninspired cliches aren't worth your time.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Silver (Edward Chupack)
Summary:
This is the back story of one Long John Silver, the dreaded pirate from Treasure Island. Chupack takes readers on a journey through Silver's past straight through to finding his Treasure Island.
Thoughts:
I have yet to read the original story, so take what I say with a grain of salt. However, this was probably one of the more boring books I've read in the last two or three years. It literally took me a month and a half to fight my way through this damn book. The story is told through Silver's own pen, written to the man who captured him. Holy Jesus, did I want out the whole way through this novel. I found it in the bargain bin at Barnes and Noble and after just a few pages, I saw exactly why it was there. Bleh. No thank you. Avoid this one, friends. Trust me.
Book 29 of 50
Pages: 272
Genre: Historical fiction, pirates
Grade: F
Would I Recommend? Nope. Leave this bad boy in the bargain bin, kiddies.
This is the back story of one Long John Silver, the dreaded pirate from Treasure Island. Chupack takes readers on a journey through Silver's past straight through to finding his Treasure Island.
Thoughts:
I have yet to read the original story, so take what I say with a grain of salt. However, this was probably one of the more boring books I've read in the last two or three years. It literally took me a month and a half to fight my way through this damn book. The story is told through Silver's own pen, written to the man who captured him. Holy Jesus, did I want out the whole way through this novel. I found it in the bargain bin at Barnes and Noble and after just a few pages, I saw exactly why it was there. Bleh. No thank you. Avoid this one, friends. Trust me.
Book 29 of 50
Pages: 272
Genre: Historical fiction, pirates
Grade: F
Would I Recommend? Nope. Leave this bad boy in the bargain bin, kiddies.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Suite Scarlett ( Maureen Johnson)
Summary:
Scarlett is the third child out of four of a pair of hotel owners in New York City. The day she turns sixteen, she is given the responsibility of keeping up one of the rooms in the hotel, and in fact, it's the schmancy-est room in the hotel. But she also is saddled with the burden of the knowledge that the hotel is not doing well at all. The day after her birthday, Scarlett's suite gets booked for the whole summer, and she becomes the personal assistant of the room's occupant, Mrs. Amberson, a crazy former Broadway star who's back in the city for some excitement and to reminisce about days gone by. The excitement comes via Scarlett's brother Spencer and his fledgling theatre group who are trying their damnedest to put on Hamlet, with little success. And so goes Scarlett's summer...
Thoughts:
A lot of plot lines to keep up with, for sure. A character was introduced in the first couple of chapters that I nearly forgot about 100 pages later when she was brought up again. Honestly, getting through this book was like slogging through mud during a typhoon. I really loved Maureen Johnson's book, 13 Little Blue Envelopes, but the can't-put-it-down nature of that book was completely lost when it came to this one. I'm sadly disappointed. There's too many depressing things to make this book as wonderful as Johnson's previous work. There is apparently a sequel, but I'll be skipping it. No thanks.
Pages: 353
Genre: Teen lit
Grade: C-
Would I Recommend?: Probably not. It's not worth the slogging.
39 down, 11 to go!
Scarlett is the third child out of four of a pair of hotel owners in New York City. The day she turns sixteen, she is given the responsibility of keeping up one of the rooms in the hotel, and in fact, it's the schmancy-est room in the hotel. But she also is saddled with the burden of the knowledge that the hotel is not doing well at all. The day after her birthday, Scarlett's suite gets booked for the whole summer, and she becomes the personal assistant of the room's occupant, Mrs. Amberson, a crazy former Broadway star who's back in the city for some excitement and to reminisce about days gone by. The excitement comes via Scarlett's brother Spencer and his fledgling theatre group who are trying their damnedest to put on Hamlet, with little success. And so goes Scarlett's summer...
Thoughts:
A lot of plot lines to keep up with, for sure. A character was introduced in the first couple of chapters that I nearly forgot about 100 pages later when she was brought up again. Honestly, getting through this book was like slogging through mud during a typhoon. I really loved Maureen Johnson's book, 13 Little Blue Envelopes, but the can't-put-it-down nature of that book was completely lost when it came to this one. I'm sadly disappointed. There's too many depressing things to make this book as wonderful as Johnson's previous work. There is apparently a sequel, but I'll be skipping it. No thanks.
Pages: 353
Genre: Teen lit
Grade: C-
Would I Recommend?: Probably not. It's not worth the slogging.
39 down, 11 to go!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Fairy Tale Blues (Tina Welling)
Summary:
Forty-something (or fifty-something) AnnieLaurie is married to a sweet, funny man named Jess. He's self-absorbed and careless, and for their anniversary, he gets her the same pair of blue topaz earrings that he got her for Valentine's Day. This brings Annie to the realization that she needs a break. A break from her life with him, from the store they own together, from everything about their life in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. She leaves the anniversary dinner abruptly, and hops a flight to Florida, nothing with her but the clothes on her back and her purse. She decides she's taking a "marriage sabbatical."
Thoughts:
The book feels like it's Welling's way of working through her own issues with her marriage. The main female character even is named like a fanfic "MarySue." It's written alternatively from Annie's and Jess's points of view. While Annie describes her world and her "awakening" and all that, I kind of wanted to reach into the pages and smack her around. Yes, Jess has issues. But you're not without them either. I wanted to put it down so badly because it just wasn't GOOD to me, but I hate stopping a book in the middle, so I usually tough out even the worst books. (Case in point: Raiders of the Low Forehead. Worst book I've ever read, bar none, but I actually finished that flaming pile of- ugh. Awful.)
What makes me sad about this book is that Jess works on himself, yes, and so does Annie, but the only real actions that go on during the book are when Annie meets Daniel, a former drug runner, on the run from his former boss and the cartel they work (or worked, in Daniel's case) for. That's the only real fun in this book. It was wholly depressing, and a waste of a week or more of my reading time. And this was one of the books from Paperback Swap that I had been waitlisted for. And I didn't even like it. Waste of time and a PBS credit.
31 down, 19 to go!
Pages: 312
Genre: Chick-lit, self help
Grade: D
Would I Recommend?: Not unless you're a 50+ with serious marriage issues.
Forty-something (or fifty-something) AnnieLaurie is married to a sweet, funny man named Jess. He's self-absorbed and careless, and for their anniversary, he gets her the same pair of blue topaz earrings that he got her for Valentine's Day. This brings Annie to the realization that she needs a break. A break from her life with him, from the store they own together, from everything about their life in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. She leaves the anniversary dinner abruptly, and hops a flight to Florida, nothing with her but the clothes on her back and her purse. She decides she's taking a "marriage sabbatical."
Thoughts:
The book feels like it's Welling's way of working through her own issues with her marriage. The main female character even is named like a fanfic "MarySue." It's written alternatively from Annie's and Jess's points of view. While Annie describes her world and her "awakening" and all that, I kind of wanted to reach into the pages and smack her around. Yes, Jess has issues. But you're not without them either. I wanted to put it down so badly because it just wasn't GOOD to me, but I hate stopping a book in the middle, so I usually tough out even the worst books. (Case in point: Raiders of the Low Forehead. Worst book I've ever read, bar none, but I actually finished that flaming pile of- ugh. Awful.)
What makes me sad about this book is that Jess works on himself, yes, and so does Annie, but the only real actions that go on during the book are when Annie meets Daniel, a former drug runner, on the run from his former boss and the cartel they work (or worked, in Daniel's case) for. That's the only real fun in this book. It was wholly depressing, and a waste of a week or more of my reading time. And this was one of the books from Paperback Swap that I had been waitlisted for. And I didn't even like it. Waste of time and a PBS credit.
31 down, 19 to go!
Pages: 312
Genre: Chick-lit, self help
Grade: D
Would I Recommend?: Not unless you're a 50+ with serious marriage issues.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Virgin Suicides (Jeffrey Eugenides)
Summary:
The book follows a handful of boys as they observe the Lisbon girls, who live on their street. I think it's set sometime around the 60's, but it could be as late as the late 70's or early 80's even. The Lisbon girls are an enigma to the narrator and his friends, especially when they start killing themselves. It literally starts with the EMS showing up at the Lisbon house after the last girl kills herself, and then goes back to describe the rest.
Thoughts:
It's really rather boring to me, honestly. It's a love letter to the Lisbon girls. It feels like it's written by a man that's now fully grown, who saw the girls kill themselves when he was a child, maybe twelve or thirteen at most. The narrator never actually names himself, and doesn't ever say enough to describe exactly when or where this is set. I like to have an idea of when exactly a book takes place, and who's telling the story. Call me crazy. But I digress (a little).
The boys of the story are pretty much obsessed with the five Lisbon girls. The narrator talks about the first girl killing herself, and then spends the next hundred and fifty pages talking about the uproar of the town over it, and the decline of the house itself, and freakin' tree diseases. Bleh.
The layout of the book itself, too, is cumbersome. There are five chapters in the book. The third one alone is 92 pages. And between the first suicide and the second, third, and fourth, (which all happen on the same night in the story) there are 183 pages. There's only 249 pages in the book. The way the narrator tells the story, you think that another suicide is coming any second, if only he would stop talking about what the house looks like now, and then it all happens right at the end.
I really didn't like the book, and I can't imagine why someone would. I just found it incredibly boring. I got the book through Paperback Swap, and have been waiting for it for literally months. I'm now wishing I hadn't bothered with it, because it really wasn't worth the wait.
28 down, 22 to go!
Pages: 249
Genre: general fiction
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No. Straight up.
The book follows a handful of boys as they observe the Lisbon girls, who live on their street. I think it's set sometime around the 60's, but it could be as late as the late 70's or early 80's even. The Lisbon girls are an enigma to the narrator and his friends, especially when they start killing themselves. It literally starts with the EMS showing up at the Lisbon house after the last girl kills herself, and then goes back to describe the rest.
Thoughts:
It's really rather boring to me, honestly. It's a love letter to the Lisbon girls. It feels like it's written by a man that's now fully grown, who saw the girls kill themselves when he was a child, maybe twelve or thirteen at most. The narrator never actually names himself, and doesn't ever say enough to describe exactly when or where this is set. I like to have an idea of when exactly a book takes place, and who's telling the story. Call me crazy. But I digress (a little).
The boys of the story are pretty much obsessed with the five Lisbon girls. The narrator talks about the first girl killing herself, and then spends the next hundred and fifty pages talking about the uproar of the town over it, and the decline of the house itself, and freakin' tree diseases. Bleh.
The layout of the book itself, too, is cumbersome. There are five chapters in the book. The third one alone is 92 pages. And between the first suicide and the second, third, and fourth, (which all happen on the same night in the story) there are 183 pages. There's only 249 pages in the book. The way the narrator tells the story, you think that another suicide is coming any second, if only he would stop talking about what the house looks like now, and then it all happens right at the end.
I really didn't like the book, and I can't imagine why someone would. I just found it incredibly boring. I got the book through Paperback Swap, and have been waiting for it for literally months. I'm now wishing I hadn't bothered with it, because it really wasn't worth the wait.
28 down, 22 to go!
Pages: 249
Genre: general fiction
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No. Straight up.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Quite Honestly (John Mortimer)
Summary:
Lucy, who apparently works in advertising, decides one day that she wants to do some good in the world. She becomes a praeceptor, which is someone who acts as a guide of sorts for people coming out of prison. Her first (and only) case is Terry Keegan. Terry has just gotten out after doing four years for burglary. This is all he knows, and it's what he goes back to. They fall in love, and Lucy decides to start stealing things, so she can become closer to Terry and understand him more. Terry thinks this is very wrong, and that a woman shouldn't be stealing things. The story follows Lucy as she not only ignores Terry's requests for her to stop stealing, but she goes on to try to steal a very expensive painting from a friend and gets pinched while doing it. Oh, and they say "quite honestly" a lot.
Thoughts:
Quite honestly, it's crap. It's predictable, and it's boring. It's barely more than 200 pages, and I think I've been reading it for at least three months. I now understand why it was in the bargain bin at B&N. Crap, and more crap. As soon as Lucy started stealing things, I knew she was going to get caught, and she was going to get jail time. The falling-in-love part wasn't even good. The story was told with one chapter from her perspective, then one from his, alternating every other chapter, so Lucy goes on about her afternoon with Terry, and then says "I guess that's when I fell in love." No lead-up, no nothing. Absolute CRAP. Quite honestly.
Pages: 206
Genre: Romance? Crap.
Grade: F
Would I Recommend?: Oh HELL to the naw.
15 down, 35 to go!
Lucy, who apparently works in advertising, decides one day that she wants to do some good in the world. She becomes a praeceptor, which is someone who acts as a guide of sorts for people coming out of prison. Her first (and only) case is Terry Keegan. Terry has just gotten out after doing four years for burglary. This is all he knows, and it's what he goes back to. They fall in love, and Lucy decides to start stealing things, so she can become closer to Terry and understand him more. Terry thinks this is very wrong, and that a woman shouldn't be stealing things. The story follows Lucy as she not only ignores Terry's requests for her to stop stealing, but she goes on to try to steal a very expensive painting from a friend and gets pinched while doing it. Oh, and they say "quite honestly" a lot.
Thoughts:
Quite honestly, it's crap. It's predictable, and it's boring. It's barely more than 200 pages, and I think I've been reading it for at least three months. I now understand why it was in the bargain bin at B&N. Crap, and more crap. As soon as Lucy started stealing things, I knew she was going to get caught, and she was going to get jail time. The falling-in-love part wasn't even good. The story was told with one chapter from her perspective, then one from his, alternating every other chapter, so Lucy goes on about her afternoon with Terry, and then says "I guess that's when I fell in love." No lead-up, no nothing. Absolute CRAP. Quite honestly.
Pages: 206
Genre: Romance? Crap.
Grade: F
Would I Recommend?: Oh HELL to the naw.
15 down, 35 to go!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Art Geeks and Prom Queens (Alyson Noel)
Summary:
Rio is a teenaged girl who moved from New York to sunny California and is trying to deal with the whole new life she has now. She starts off hanging with people that are very much like her: nice, artsy, etc. But when things go even slightly south with them, she drops them, starting to wear the expensive and very trendy clothes her mother's been trying to force on her since they moved out west, and hanging out with the "cool" girls. This leads to drinking, cocaine, and unfounded sex scandals.
Thoughts:
Honestly, it sucked. It was basically the movie Mean Girls, only with more drugs and alcohol. Why is it that none of the books written about "cool kids" ever paint them in a kind light? I'm not saying that I was ever a "cool kid" (far from it!) but they can't all be the worst of the worst. Anyway, the writing was awful. And it was so very transparent what was going to happen, it was ridiculous. And the happily ever after mess came only on the last page. Shock of all shocks.
Why is it that so few books come with a happy ending that ties up loose ends before the very last page? It's like writers enjoy putting their readers through the worst of all angst, with very little happy in their ever afters. Maybe it's because I've been in a happy relationship for years, and I never really had to go through all this angst. But I like seeing people actually get together, and also BE HAPPY together.
Pages: 226
Genre: Teenlit, romance
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No, probably not.
14 down, 36 to go!
Almost done Quite Honestly, and I can't wait to be. It's pretty crap too. Three books out of the last four have been stupid. Not awesome.
Rio is a teenaged girl who moved from New York to sunny California and is trying to deal with the whole new life she has now. She starts off hanging with people that are very much like her: nice, artsy, etc. But when things go even slightly south with them, she drops them, starting to wear the expensive and very trendy clothes her mother's been trying to force on her since they moved out west, and hanging out with the "cool" girls. This leads to drinking, cocaine, and unfounded sex scandals.
Thoughts:
Honestly, it sucked. It was basically the movie Mean Girls, only with more drugs and alcohol. Why is it that none of the books written about "cool kids" ever paint them in a kind light? I'm not saying that I was ever a "cool kid" (far from it!) but they can't all be the worst of the worst. Anyway, the writing was awful. And it was so very transparent what was going to happen, it was ridiculous. And the happily ever after mess came only on the last page. Shock of all shocks.
Why is it that so few books come with a happy ending that ties up loose ends before the very last page? It's like writers enjoy putting their readers through the worst of all angst, with very little happy in their ever afters. Maybe it's because I've been in a happy relationship for years, and I never really had to go through all this angst. But I like seeing people actually get together, and also BE HAPPY together.
Pages: 226
Genre: Teenlit, romance
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No, probably not.
14 down, 36 to go!
Almost done Quite Honestly, and I can't wait to be. It's pretty crap too. Three books out of the last four have been stupid. Not awesome.
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Good Fairies of New York (Martin Millar)
Summary:
A disjointed tale of two Scottish fairies, Heather and Morag, who get kicked out of Scotland, and wind up somehow in New York City. The story follows their misadventures in the big city, where they piss off the native New Yorker fairies (who were originally from China, Italy, and Ghana) and set off a turf war. Meanwhile, over in England, the Cornish fairies start a war of their own, and somehow decide it's necessary to invade NYC. And there's a Scottish clan of fairies who are pissed at the two main character fairies, and are hunting everywhere for them.
Oh, and there's this guy, Dinnie, and this chick, Kerry, and the two Scots make a deal with Dinnie to get Kerry to fall in love with him. And there's a couple other humans involved, and the ghost of a long-dead rock star who's out to find his guitar.
Thoughts:
This book is so effing all over the place, it's hard to keep track of everything. The story bounces from Heather and Dinnie, to Morag and Kerry, to the Italian fairies, to the Scottish clan, to the Chinese, to the Cornish government-type fairies, to the Cornish rebellion, to the Ghanaian, to the Italians, to Heather and Morag again, all in a matter of 10 pages. It's so disjointed that while you know it's all connected, and you can pretty much see the connections coming, when they DO get there, you wonder how you've gotten there. Another character involved in this whole mess is a schizophrenic bag lady who thinks she's an Athenian army commander from ancient Greece, and honestly, while reading this, I felt a little like I was going to be her soon.
Also, Kerry (one of the two main humans) has Crohn's disease, and every other chapter or so, it talks about her colostomy bag, and describes what exactly is going on with her physical ailments. I'm sorry, I don't expect to read about which tubes are connected to what and for what purpose when I pick up a book about fairies.
It's a bizarre book, and I didn't particularly like it. I muddled through because I read great reviews for it, but now that I've read it, I'm wondering why. Oh, and this printing had so many amateurish mistakes in it, I kept getting brought out of the story (such as it was) to wonder how this didn't get caught in the editing process.
Pages: 242
Genre: Fantasy
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No.
12 books down, 38 to go!
I'm reading the first Percy Jackson book now, and it's really good so far. A great leap from the crap that this one was.
A disjointed tale of two Scottish fairies, Heather and Morag, who get kicked out of Scotland, and wind up somehow in New York City. The story follows their misadventures in the big city, where they piss off the native New Yorker fairies (who were originally from China, Italy, and Ghana) and set off a turf war. Meanwhile, over in England, the Cornish fairies start a war of their own, and somehow decide it's necessary to invade NYC. And there's a Scottish clan of fairies who are pissed at the two main character fairies, and are hunting everywhere for them.
Oh, and there's this guy, Dinnie, and this chick, Kerry, and the two Scots make a deal with Dinnie to get Kerry to fall in love with him. And there's a couple other humans involved, and the ghost of a long-dead rock star who's out to find his guitar.
Thoughts:
This book is so effing all over the place, it's hard to keep track of everything. The story bounces from Heather and Dinnie, to Morag and Kerry, to the Italian fairies, to the Scottish clan, to the Chinese, to the Cornish government-type fairies, to the Cornish rebellion, to the Ghanaian, to the Italians, to Heather and Morag again, all in a matter of 10 pages. It's so disjointed that while you know it's all connected, and you can pretty much see the connections coming, when they DO get there, you wonder how you've gotten there. Another character involved in this whole mess is a schizophrenic bag lady who thinks she's an Athenian army commander from ancient Greece, and honestly, while reading this, I felt a little like I was going to be her soon.
Also, Kerry (one of the two main humans) has Crohn's disease, and every other chapter or so, it talks about her colostomy bag, and describes what exactly is going on with her physical ailments. I'm sorry, I don't expect to read about which tubes are connected to what and for what purpose when I pick up a book about fairies.
It's a bizarre book, and I didn't particularly like it. I muddled through because I read great reviews for it, but now that I've read it, I'm wondering why. Oh, and this printing had so many amateurish mistakes in it, I kept getting brought out of the story (such as it was) to wonder how this didn't get caught in the editing process.
Pages: 242
Genre: Fantasy
Grade: D+
Would I Recommend?: No.
12 books down, 38 to go!
I'm reading the first Percy Jackson book now, and it's really good so far. A great leap from the crap that this one was.
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